In Defense of Those Sleepless Nights: Why I Became a Mombie

Sleepless nights: why I became a Mombie

While I was expecting my first child, moms of all ages attempted to help me with their words of wisdom.  Those helpful comments, however, seemed more like scare tactics. The most common theme was lack of sleep. I was continuously warned about all the sleepless nights ahead of me and offered bits of advice about how I could overcome them.

Despite all the advice, I wasn’t nervous about becoming a mom.  Becoming an aunt at age 5 prepared me for motherhood.  After caring for 13 nieces and nephews, I felt like I was ready to rock motherhood! I couldn’t wait to become a mom and bring my own baby home.  But I’m not going to lie. I was nervous about the prospect of all those sleepless nights!  I liked to stay up late, I was NOT a morning person and I valued a good night’s sleep!

After 8 long months of  severe daily morning sickness (Hyperemesis), I delivered a beautiful baby boy who was absolutely perfect despite being almost 5 weeks early. Much to my surprise, my son valued his sleep, too. He slept through the night at just 1 month old and those sleepless nights never came to be.  Other moms would tell me how lucky I was, but I felt like it was a fair trade-off for dealing with being sick every single day for my entire pregnancy!

I didn’t think I could possibly get that lucky again, but I did with all four of my children! Hyperemesis plagued me each day through the entirety of all four of my pregnancies, but I always received the gift of an incredible sleeper.  Those dreaded sleepless nights with a newborn were something I never got to experience. My kids were great sleepers from the start, which is something that I am incredibly thankful for!

Those newborn days are long gone and I can’t help but wish them back because time goes entirely too quickly. And, well, because it was a time when I actually slept! Even though I didn’t have to deal with sleepless nights at the beginning, those sleepless nights officially arrived when my kids got older and life got busier.

Sleepless Nights: Why I Became a Mombie

You see, these days my entire family is sleeping, but I’m not.

Motherhood is a constant balancing act. What worked well yesterday may not be a good fit today, so I have to find a way to achieve balance again.  Right now, in this phase of motherhood, I have to sacrifice sleep in order to get (almost) everything done. There simply isn’t enough time in the day! I’m on the go from the moment I wake up until the moment I go to bed. I never imagined I would give up on sleep and it’s certainly not an ideal long-term solution, but it is what works at the moment.

While my family is sleeping, I live a life completely separate from them.  Between the hours of 11 PM and 4:30 AM, I work. I never expected my blog to become anything other than a hobby, but it has. I now have posts to write, emails to answer, sponsors to please, social media posts to schedule, collaborations to arrange and pictures to edit.  It is, essentially, a part time job and I love it!  I love to write and I love being a person other than just mom.

Most weekday evenings, I crawl into bed between 4:30-5 AM, only to wake up 2 1/2 to 4 hours later, and repeat. Despite my endless energy, my husband lovingly dubbed me Mombie and it quickly became a joke!  I am 100% okay with sacrificing sleep and waking up a Mombie. I am willing to trade several hours of sleep for hours spent with my children while they’re young.  This phase in my life is only a tiny fraction of time in the grand scheme of things.

My sleep, or lack thereof, seems to be a hot topic these days among my family and friends.  I realize that it isn’t the healthiest thing to do, but it isn’t a long-term situation. I often hear, “HOW do you do it?” The answer is: I’m not quite sure!  I just get up and be the best mom I can possibly be, tuck my kids into bed at the end of the day and start working.  It’s the only option right now that allows me to experience the best of both worlds. Sleepless nights are the tradeoff for the time spent with my children and the blogging perks!

Sleepless Nights: Why I Became a Mombie

In defense of those sleepless nights, I say this:

The most important thing in my life right now is spending time with my children and making each moment count. They are growing up far too quickly and I can feel their childhood slipping out of my grasp. During the day, my focus should be on them. Although there are photoshoots, therapy sessions and a few minutes of blog and volunteer work here and there, my children are the ones who receive most of my attention. It isn’t fair for them to see their mom staring at a computer screen all day, so I make other arrangements.

Instead, our days are filled with projects, playdates and trips to the park and the library.  We create art, do science experiments, play games, read books and whip up recipes.  We visit our horse, sing loudly in the car, dig into sensory bins and play outdoors. Visits to a museum, spray park or zoo happen weekly. And there are always 2-3 extra kids in our home to keep us company! My goal is to fill their days with love and give them a magical childhood and lifelong memories. Judging by the smiles on their faces and the love that overflows from their hearts, I’m succeeding.  The lack of sleep I experience is nothing compared to the joy of being their mom and making memories with them!

I sacrifice my sleep for my children and I stand behind that decision. Right now, while my children are young, the work that I love so much belongs in the hours after they go to bed. I’m not willing to sacrifice my days spent with them for ANYTHING. They need their mom and I need them. Before I know it, a new phase will begin and I can adjust my schedule accordingly. For now, I will embrace being a Mombie. I will wipe the exhaustion from my eyes, grab a strong cup of caffeinated tea, and greet my kids with a smile and open arms when they wake. And when I hit that wall in the afternoon, the prospect of two amazing nights of sleep over the weekend ahead perks me up!

But mostly, I embrace those sleepless nights and my Mombie status for one simple reason:

One day, in the not so distant future, I will wake up bright eyed and well rested. I will have plenty of time to check everything off my to-do list. And in that not so distant future, I will be waking up to an empty home.  I’m 100% certain I would wish back all the sleepless nights in a heartbeat if it meant having my babies back home again. The truth is, my kids are worth every sacrifice I have to make. The time I spend with them is worth every single lost hour of sleep. And I am one incredibly lucky, although sometimes exhausted, mama!

Sleepless nights: why I became a Mombie

 

You can see how Stefanie wrangles the chaos at Lexie Loo, Lily, Liam & Dylan Too. You can also keep up with her family’s adventures on Instagram and Facebook.

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Stefanie Settlemire
Stefanie is a wife and SAHM to 4 children, living in Mars. Stefanie and her husband refer to their children as Phase One (Dylan-Age 13 and Alexandria-Age 10) and Phase Two (Liliana-Age 6 and Liam-Age 4). Phase Three is out of the question! Stefanie’s family became a family blessed with Down syndrome when her youngest child had a surprise diagnosis after his birth. Although the family’s initial reaction was shock and fear, they quickly learned to embrace this beautiful journey and they now realize what the term “The Lucky Few” really means. Stefanie spends her days wrangling chaos. In addition to four kids, her family has 4 large pet rabbits...the more the merrier! In her spare time she loves to embarrass her children by singing show tunes from her musical theater days, come up with messy projects to keep her children busy, chase her children around with her camera, read, volunteer for the Down Syndrome Diagnosis Network, blog at http://www.lexieloolilyliamdylantoo.com and post daily on Instagram (www.instagram.com/lexieloolilyliamdylantoo). Sleep is just a distant memory!