Frightened Mom

stressed mom waiting for child

stressed mom waiting for child

 

I want this to be understood by every mom. As a mom you love your kids, you want what is best for them. You want them to be safe and although you will never stop worrying, certain things bring you comfort.

As a mom, you worry from the time you find out you are expecting, and the worry only grows from there. At the first sign of independence, the worry is magnified. When your kids learn to walk you worry if they’ll fall and hurt themselves. When they learn to ride a bike you make your kids wear helmets just in case they fall and hurt themselves, and when they learn to drive……

You say things like, “call me when you get there so I know you made it safely.” You worry at every turn, in winter as every snowflake falls.

My son has only been driving a few years and I worry, A LOT.

As the mother of two African American sons, I worry. Last month my son was pulled over during a non routine traffic stop about five minutes away from our house. He was told he looked suspicious and failed to use his turn signal. His car was searched, and because my son complied, he was allowed to leave with a warning; most importantly, he was safe and able to come home and tell me about it. He was calm, but I was not.

Every day that my son gets into his car to go to work, or anywhere, I worry; and the worries I have are not the usual mommy worries.

My mother is a retired medic, and I have many officers in my family, so we were raised to respect authority and law enforcement. But I still have that worry, because strangers don’t know you personally, or your background.

I, like many other mothers have that constant worry, and the best thing I can do is educate my kids. My son complied with all the officer’s requests. These things are not new. My husband has had similar experiences, as have many black males across the country. As a mom… I can’t explain it any other way than Momma Bear wanting to protect her cubs, no matter how old her cubs get.

Has your child ever been hurt or injured in a football game? You want to run out on that field and shield your son, never mind the helmet and shoulder pads… because in your mind, you can do a better job at making sure no one touches him even though you have no equipment on! That emotion and outrage is there every time your child suits up and goes out there on that field. Every play makes you feel that way no matter what position your child plays.

Even though you worry you still let him get out there on that field and you watch him run, jump, tackle and make plays with your heart in your throat the entire time.

As a mom of African American boys, magnify that feeling by 10.

I worry, but as a mom of African American, boys I am frightened. I must not allow that worry to cripple me.

I rarely watch the news anymore but for many, the news is right in front of them everyday in real life. They cannot just turn it off. They live it every single day.

I wanted this post to catch some people off guard. I want everyone to know that every human being has worries and fears. Every parent can relate to each other on some level if we choose to tap in to it. We all aren’t that different. We all have the same basic needs in life. I am frightened but I also have faith and I still believe in humanity.

My prayers and condolences to all who are out on the front lines and to all who are hurting, in pain and dealing with grief. We truly must allow love to guide and lead us in the right way.