Like many of you, my first “baby” was covered in fur. My husband (fiance at the time) and I adopted her from the shelter when she was just an eight-week-old puppy—love at first sight for all of us.
Mosse was with us for every major step: moving from our rented loft in the city to our first home in the suburbs, and eventually to our current home in the sub-suburbs. When I was pregnant, she was extra snuggly of me, and from the moment we brought our first daughter–and later our twins–home from the hospital, she adored her “puppies.”
Our kids never knew a life without her. Among all of their first words was some version of “dog.” They delighted in 
tossing goldfish crackers and Cheerios to her from their high chairs, and, in return, she was endlessly patient and never far away from them.
As she grew older, she started to slow down and at around 12 years old, she developed diabetes. The kids (who abhor shots) became my brave helpers, petting her and giving her (healthy) treats while I stealthily injected her with insulin twice a day. With her blood sugar under control, and a stricter diet, for a while she seemed years younger and we were hopeful that we’d still have a few more years with her.
Sadly, though, we lost her in May. Early one Saturday morning, she had a series of seizures. Thankfully, the kids were still sound asleep as my husband rushed her to the emergency veterinarian, where, with me on speaker phone, the vet explained that a decent (if any) recovery was unlikely. With my husband by her side comforting her, we sadly but confidently made the difficult decision to let Mosse go,
Though I had gone outside to have this phone call, my eight-year-old had woken up and found me. We let her say goodbye and tell Mosse she loved her over the phone. It was gut-wrenching. Then our six-year-old twins came downstairs and, barely in control of my own emotions, I had to have the hardest conversation with them that I’ve had to date as a parent. Despite knowing that this day would come, and thinking through how we’d handle it, I felt horribly unprepared. So I went with complete honesty.
“Mosse passed away this morning. She was sick, she probably was for a while and we just didn’t know it. There wasn’t a way for her to get better.”
“The vet helped her peacefully go to Heaven and Daddy was with her and told her how much we all loved her.”
“Mosse had a wonderful long life and we were so lucky to have her.”
“We’re going to be sad for a while—maybe a long time—and that’s OK. It’s awful that pets don’t live as long as us, but I’d rather be sad now then never have had her to love.”
We cried, a lot. We came up with a plan to honor her and picked out a pink dogwood tree to plant in her memory, burying along with it some of her favorite toys, treats, and a note from us. We chose a spot in the front yard, right in front of the window that she loved to look out of. We cried some more, and then we took a break from crying, and talked about how that was OK too. We still needed to have happy moments and laugh and it didn’t diminish how we felt about her.
Months later, we still get sad sometimes. But we also happily talk about Mosse and remember all of our great times with her. And we will open our hearts again one day to another four-legged family member.
Because I didn’t do it before this happened, and because I—like all of us—often wonder if I’m doing this parenting thing (mostly) right—I’ve since read several good articles about helping kids through the loss of a pet.
Here are a few resources that other parents may find helpful for guiding kids through what may be their first loss of a loved one:
- When a Pet Dies, from KidsHealth.org
- 6 Family Friendly Ways to Help Kids Grieve After Pet Loss, Psychology Today
- When a Pet Dies: Helping Children Through the Worst Day of Their Lives, New York Times
- The Rainbow Bridge, children’s book by Adrian Raeside
I’d like to say that I hope we never have to go through this again, but that’s not true, because, as I told my kids, the only way to avoid sadness from losing a pet is to never know what it’s like to love a pet.
