What the Stuff Under Your Couch Says About Your Family


Have you read the book, Snoop: What Your Stuff Says About You by Sam Gosling? If not, it describes how a person’s possessions and how they arrange them can tell us more about that person’s character than intimate conversations. After cleaning under my couch the other day, I realized that I should write a book called Snoop: What the Stuff Under Your Couch Says About Your Family. It would be a bestseller, for sure.

I swear my husband cleaned under the couch a month ago. Maybe two months. But it feels like yesterday. And yet look at all the junk!


How is this possible? Also, ew. So gross. And just so you don’t think we’re total slobs, I will tell you that I vacuum this room every single night. Sometimes two or three times a day. (Yeah, I’m kind of a clean freak.)

This is what this room looks like every night before bed. Well, most nights.


So how does the underbelly of the couch get so disgusting? That’s easy. It’s called I have five kids.

Let’s take a closer look. Here. I’ve divided everything into categories.


Please note Exhibit A: the pile of food. Lots of goldfish. Lucky Charms. Surprise, surprise, there isn’t a single Lucky Charm marshmallow. Such delicacies would never be wasted or lost. Obviously.

On to Exhibit B: the pile of game pieces. Do you know how frustrating it is to try to play a game with half the pieces missing?

Moving on to the miscellaneous section:

We have a nice assortment of toys, some money, and some black and gold origami (Go Steelers!)

Socks and a dryer sheet.

A book.

And the final exhibit? A pile of garbage.

So what does all this stuff say about us? You might think it says that we like to eat, play games, read books, and do laundry. What it really says, is this:

A) We have a lot of kids.
B) The kids don’t follow the rules about not eating in the family room.
C) These kids translate “clean up” to mean “shove everything under the couch.”
D) Under the couch = specialized garbage can.
E) We have a lot of kids. Did I mention that already?

What does the junk under your couch say about you?

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Hello Pittsburgh moms! My family moved to Pittsburgh for my husband’s medical training eleven years ago. We loved it so much, we decided to take a job here. I stay home with our five kids – one daughter and four boys. Yes, they are crazy. Yes, my life is chaotic. But it’s also lots of fun. When I’m not driving my kids to music lessons or swim practice or trying to get my 3 year-old to sit on the potty, I study and write. I have almost completed a Masters of Education with an emphasis in Children’s Literature. I write books for children and am working on getting published. I also run Storytime at the Penguin Bookshop in Sewickley. Oh, and I draw pictures and tell funny stories about my kids on my blog: www.stefaniehohl.com. But above all, I like to eat brownies. Out of the pan. Late at night.


  1. I love A-E lol and when I was little cleaning up did mean shoving stuff under the couch. how the tables have turned lol. Great post!

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