I have been a mother for 11 years. I remember the day she was born. This beautiful baby girl merged into this world, and I was smitten. Reading all the baby books was a fun learning experience for me, a real big eye opener. What the baby books never prepared me for was, “the talk”. You know, the birds and the bees, changing bodies, hormones. Let me tell you, it has been an absolute challenge.
I was lucky enough to have 2 girls, so I know how and when their bodies will start to change (duh), and my oldest being 11, is growing quickly, and everything is happening so fast. If you know me, you know i’m a very outspoken person. I say what is on my mind at all times, and I really don’t hold back or have a filter, and sometimes, I probably should. But there is something about this topic that makes me uneasy. I’m not sure if it’s because I picture my oldest as my little girl, sweet and innocent, and just discovering butterflies, or if it’s because I’m terrified she’s getting older. Everyone wants their kids to stay little, including me, and this talk will take things to another level.
I recently purchased a book on Amazon for her to read, in hopes it helps ease the questions she might have to ask. After a few chapters (i read the book before her) we decided to have a talk. Things took a turn once we hit the hormone section. As we talked about it, she kept referring it to her “Hermiones”, you know, the girl from Harry Potter, and that’s when i started to sweat, and the conversation got weird real quick.
I took a step back to really look at what I was working with. I didn’t understand why I was having such a hard time talking to her about things that will start happening to her body. Me being uncomfortable was making her uncomfortable, which was making the situation a crappy one, and that’s something i don’t want. I always tell my husband I want my girls to come to me with any questions they have, whether it’s about a boy they like, mean girls, or what’s happening with their bodies.
During the quarantine I thought a lot about how to approach this, and decided I needed to relax and just be myself. I kept reassuring myself there was nothing to be embarrassed about. We ALL go through this change at some point of our life. We ended up having a real good talk one day over lunch. I remember just saying to her, “Hey, so, let’s talk about your body, and what’s happening to it, and if you have questions, don’t be embarrassed, this is a normal part of life and i would hate for you to get caught off guard.”
That day I felt like a successful parent. We talked about everything. Well, not exactly everything, just changes that will happen to her in the next year or so. It made me feel better to know that she is aware of what is about to happen with her changing body, and she had some pretty good questions for me as well. I took this as a big win, and have some advice for some parents who might be struggling to find a way to bring it up like I did. Take a breath, it’s really not as big of a deal as we sometimes make it out to be. It is inevitable, and you can’t change what’s about to happen, so might as well prepare for it. Talk to your kids as if you would when you ask them how their day was at school. I realize now, the more comfortable you are with them about this topic, the more they open us, and tell you how they are feeling as well. My mom did an outstanding job in that department, and I wish I would have thought how she approached it before I was going off the deep end. Yes, it’s a little embarrassing, but like i said before, it’s not like we can stop it from happening. I did leave out the birds and the bees, we haven’t hit that topic yet. I just want to enjoy the fact that she is still my little girl, and hold on to that for as long as possible.