Fear is a four letter word – that nasty shoulder resident that whispers horrible things in your ear – “you could never do that” or “don’t try that, you’re going to fail”. So often, we end up listening to that terrible voice in our heads. We allow it to craft elaborate stories of failure, suffering and embarrassment. But what we’re really doing is allowing our fears to control us. When we ask ourselves the age old question, “What would you do right now if you had $1 million?” I ask in return, WHY do you need a million bucks to start? Why couldn’t you just take one step towards reaching that goal right now? How do we get over those fears that hold us back?
I’ve made several HUGE leaps in my life – I moved 4 times around the country sight unseen, I left my lucrative job at IBM to take my dream job half way across the country, I then left my career in order to be a stay at home mom. Each leap was scary as heck, and I had so many fears while making each jump. One of the biggest leaps I’ve made was starting my company, ROKI, and I had every worst case scenario going through my mind before starting. But what got me to the edge, to the point where I was able to make that leap, were some straightforward, yet powerful tactics that helped me put everything in perspective:
Write Your Fears Down
One of the worst ways that fears hold us back is by messing with our minds, and tricking us into thinking that the imaginary outcome is WAY bigger than it actually is. When I decided to start my business and put my kids back in childcare, I stopped allowing my fears to keep me up at night, and I decided to write them down. I wrote down my goal and my corresponding fears/consequences in two columns – in one column I wrote “Worst Case Scenario” and on the other side of the sheet, I wrote the “Best Case Scenarios”. Fear is like a dense gray cloud that loves to cover up all the wonderful things that can come from making changes in our lives and instead pours the negative rain down all over us. But when I wrote everything down, and was able to actually visualize my fears, I was able to break them down and realize they weren’t as big as my mind had made them out to be.
Talk with a Mentor
Once I wrote down and was able to visualize my fears, I was able to see exactly what I was up against. I was also able to see what I truly needed help with. I started talking with other mom entrepreneurs who had been through what I had been through and started seeking advice. Slowly, through hearing other people’s stories, I was able to all but diminish my fears and actually see the other side clearer. I was able to visualize an outcome to my decision, and set realistic expectations for myself based on the great conversations I had with those who had done it before me.
Take the First Step
Finally, when I was ready to jump, I started taking baby steps – my husband and I sat down and redid our financials, I began joining mom groups both on and offline that had both SAHM and working moms as members. I began thinking about what I needed physically, emotionally and mentally after making my leap, and started making small plans to keep them a priority – for example, I signed up to get a monthly massage. By taking these small steps, I felt much more prepared to leap into entrepreneurship.
In NO way should anyone be expected to jump into anything new, or end something familiar and supportive, on a whim. Making a life change takes time, preparation and commitment, and there will always be fears associated with them. But by following these three steps, that almost impossible leap may become more possible, and may even turn into just a slight hop!
Priya is the owner of ROKI, a network of professional mothers looking for support, guidance and empowerment as they make changes in their lives. To learn more, visit www.rokimom.com.
