This morning I woke up and looked at my phone, January 5, 2017. I texted my husband, “You know we could be gearing up for another first birthday party?” It’s been 18 months since we lost our little boy, and while since then we have welcomed another sweet boy into our family; the pain still hits me sometimes.
We had announced our pregnancy to family and friends at our older son’s first birthday when I was 12 weeks. He opened up a t-shirt from mom and dad that said “BIG BROTHER!” Everyone was so excited (and shocked!) We were giving our son the best gift ever, a little brother.
Three days later I woke up with some bleeding and called the doctor, what followed was a week of bleeding but three normal ultrasounds. Each time I left the ultrasound I felt crazy. Why was my mother’s intuition telling me something was wrong but the scans showed the baby was fine?
At the last ultrasound I explained to the doctor that we had a family trip planned for Portugal and I was to leave the next day. She assured me everything would be fine and the baby looked okay to make the trip. On the way to the airport, I looked at my husband and told him I didn’t feel right about going, that something wasn’t right. I woke up early the next morning and miscarried.
As moms we have the joy of bonding with our children in ways others can’t. I swear I can foresee and sense so many things in relation to my boys before they happen. Now if I could only get some super powers to act quick enough to stop my 2 and half year old from banging his head off the table.
Always trust your intuition as a mom as it has never failed me, yet….
