President Ronald Regan said “When a child loses his parent, they are called an orphan. When a spouse loses her or his partner, they are called a widow or widower. When parents lose their child, there isn’t a word to describe them.” On October 15, 1988, President Regan declared the whole month of October as pregnancy and infant loss awareness month. We always remember the babies that we have lost no matter what age. I was due with my first October 17th, 2017. Instead, I found out that I had a missed miscarriage at 7 weeks gestation but did not show signs until 11 weeks. Miscarriage and infant loss are not talked about enough and there is little support for grieving parents.
If you have a friend that just had a loss it may be difficult to understand what they are going through. If you haven’t had a loss just try to listen. Let them know that you are there for them. You might not be able to relate but that’s ok. If your friend does not RSVP to a baby shower or needs a Facebook and Instagram break let them. All of the baby announcements that should have been them tears at their heart. Do know that they are not mad at you or anyone really. They are still grieving in their own way and just may take some time to come around. If you as their friend do become pregnant do not be afraid to tell them! Trust me, they will be happy for you!
On October 17th at 7pm go ahead and light that candle. Go ahead and cry. Get it out. It doesn’t matter how long it has been since you lost your babe. They were real and they matter.